That First Drink
It surprises many when I say that I didn't drink more than a 1/2 a glass of beer until I graduated High School. Because my father was an addict, I was actually always afraid to have anymore than that. I can remember my boyfriend (who was older than me) having a party and making fun of me because I wouldn't take more than a few sips of beer. I was that girl at the party...how I ended up being hooked on the substance I would never touch is still so crazy to me!
So, I'm telling this "first drink" story today because I know there are two kinds of curious people:
Those that are currently abusing alcohol. You know you are drinking too much, but spend time scouring the internet to search articles like "What are the signs of an alcoholic". You have been drinking for a long time and are ready for a change, but still straddling the fence.
Those that have never really drank at all. You are reading this because you are genuinely curious how one becomes addicted to alcohol.
Well, let me help both of you. There is no magic formula that makes an alcoholic. Everyones body chemistry is different, everyone's mental state is different...there is no formula. However, I'm hoping my experience may help you.
For me, I should've known after my very first night of really drinking to stay away from alcohol. I was 19yrs old, working at a club (ready my book for deets), and one night I decided I felt like trying to drink like everyone else was. So, I did (even though I was underage). I ordered beer after beer and you know what...
I had an absolute blast. It was like I came alive. I wasn't shy, I was talkative, laughed more than I had in years...I suddenly had this personality that I loved. It wasn't like any of the normal stories you hear when people drink for the first time. I didn't throw up or run around naked...I just became who I was afraid to be sober. I became the girl without the weight of the world on her shoulders, not a care in the world.
And that should've scared me. But, instead, I went with that feeling. No, I didn't start going on benders overnight...but I started to slowly make drinking a normal part of my life over the years until my life centered around it. It happened slowly, it snuck up on me. And sadly, being in the military only made it worse. I gave into the binge drinking atmosphere and partied every weekend until the weekend became during the week.
Then, when I separated from the military unhealed from trauma and the weight of figuring things out, during the week became getting blackout drunk with a bottle of Gin every other day...until I was no longer functioning and my body was taking a beating.
Here is the thing. When you allow a substance in, it will automatically become a crutch when you need one. It takes away the opportunity for you to find a healthier outlet. And while I KNOW everyone doesn't go on binders every weekend (I promise you I'm not some prude who doesn't know alcohol is a regular part of life for many)...I also know that this poison is a VERY sneaky thing. So if you are making alcohol a part of everything (or most things) you do, you may want to give it a break:)
So, that's the short version of my alcohol story. If it spoke to you and you want to read the full story, grab my book on the site.
But really...I just hope this helped someone who is on the fence about trying this wonderful SOBER-LIFE🙌🏾